So it is confession time. I told you that I was going to do all these things this week and so far I have pretty much done one. Actually, half of one.
Remember this small Kiss Charm?
I told you I was going to drop it into my unsuspecting Sweetie’s pant’s pocket. I was thinking that it would be a cute little gesture and that when my Sweetie found it he would think it was so sweet and then we would have a nice little chat about it. Then I would let him know that I have another one of the stones and we could both carry them, and whenever we happen upon them we would be reminded how much I would rather be kissing him then likely anything else I might be doing at that time.
Sounds so lovely and fun doesn’t it?
Well on Tuesday I followed through and actually placed the token in his pants, which were waiting for him, fresh from the dryer. Wait that isn’t right. “Fresh from the dryer” implies they had been removed from the dryer. They were in fact still in the dryer, a little less the 24 hours from when they were first placed there so at least still “fresh” (in my book!) if not “from.”
Of course the fact that I threw them in there and forgot to actually start the dryer and it was my Sweetie, looking for his jeans, who had to push the button does bring the entire “fresh” thing into question…
Anyway, I thought I was being SUPER clever to sneak the little KISS token into his pants while they were still in the dryer. I figured he would grab the pants from the dryer and then, sometime during his day, reach into his pocket and find the stone. I imagined him finding it and saying, “Oh my Sweetie!” to himself. If he wasn’t in the middle of a meeting or perhaps if he was and he could sneak a little text, he would send me a message when he found it.
But, so far, that isn’t how it is going.
It is now Friday and so far he hasn’t mentioned the stone. I checked the pockets of his pants and I didn’t find it. Perhaps he never noticed it and or it fell out when he grabbed them from the dryer.. I really don’t know. I do know that I will have to say something if I hope to get to the bottom of it… but so far I haven’t said a word… I want it to show up. I want it to go exactly as I planned. I wanted him to be surprised and I wanted him to do and say the things I pictured in my mind.
My confession isn’t that I did this, this time. It is that I concoct these elaborate scenarios in which I expect my Sweetie to perform in flawlessly. The fact that this did not go EXACTLY as I had planned has me stopped in my tracks. I don’t want to try anything else until this gets resolved, in exactly the way I want… so I hold off and wait.
I have a list of 10 things I said I was going to try yet I stay in a holding pattern waiting for this exact thing to materialize as planned (only in my mind… not with any involvement or agreement from my Sweetie!) I’ve been brought up on fairy tales and television dramas that resolve everything in 60 minutes or less so I expect real life to behave that way. Life just doesn’t . Happily ever after is a state of mind not an actual outcome.
How about you? Do you do the same thing? DO you construct grand visions of how things are “supposed” to look, go or be and then slip into disappointment and inaction when things don’t line up that way? If so then I request you join me in my new imperfect quest for romance, and everything else! My Sweetie is not looking for or expecting any of the things I thought I’d try this week so if I don’t pull them all off EXACTLY as planned it really doesn’t matter. So here is my original list with the this is what I really can make happen revisions:
- Send a love letter, or sappy card to your Sweetie at their office. No reason, just because. Will make them eager to come home! I will draw a heart on the sidewalk with chalk…
- Find the songs of your life! Go to wikepedia here and find out what the number one songs were for all your important dates and/or just surf through together and see what was hot when you were kids…. so much fun! If you don’t already have a song you might find one. I’ll let him know “My Girl” by the Temptations was the number one song the week he was born and “He’s so Fine.” by the Chiffons was mine.
- Explore romantic song lists and find favorites. Keep a playlist of favorites for long drives or play while doing chores together. I can swing asking him what his favorite song is! Can you believe it… I don’t already know… I could guess but I never actually asked!!
- Undress each other. Take your time. Ok, I admit that this sounds fun but so far can’t seem to figure out how to initiate it without feeling cheesy… I think I’ll just go in and watch him undress… we’ll see what happens next.
- Learn your relationship’s shorthand. Know your important dates… wedding, meetings, births, whatever is significant to you and then send a random text with that date when you want your Sweetie to know you are thinking of them and/or those special moments. 12116 for me equals 12/11/06 our wedding day. Makes texting a quick hello very quick and fun. I’ll pick one! My wedding date it is!
- Hold hands. Couples do a lot of this when they first start dating. Try it again. While watching television, reach out and hold hands. OK, this I can do! I won’t do it with expectations of anything… I’ll just enjoy it!
- Feed each other grapes or have a fondue picnic. Include other favorite treats and get dipping… if inclined serve champagne too! We have champagne… we’ll drink it sans grapes and fondue… that is the most important part anyway.
- Get a small token (see photo above) and drop it in the pocket of their jeans. (I’ve been thinking about this one for a while… I’m doing it today!) Pick up matching tokens (I do have two) and after the surprise you can both carry them around… every time you happen upon it you will think of your Sweetie! I’ll find out what happened to the one I did leave in his pocket!
- Watch a romantic movie together. Casablanca? Picking one out might be a fun romantic escapade too! I will let him pick the show we watch tonight.
- Give a message. It can be elaborate full body one or how about a 10 minute foot or hand massage. Always appreciated and is often reciprocated!! I will scratch his back when asked and linger a bit longer then usual… who knows, it may actually lead to a message!
So what imperfect, barely romantic thing can you commit to actually doing… TONIGHT, no waiting. No planning. Just doing? The big ideas are fun… and we should definitely get some into our calendars but turning things up a notch, even in less then grand fashion can really make the difference!
Ha! I just found out Sweetie wants to make ME dinner… things are getting more romantic already!!