I will cover you with love when next I see you, with caresses, with ecstasy. I want to gorge you with all the joys of the flesh, so that you faint and die. I want you to be amazed by me, and to confess to yourself that you had never even dreamed of such transports…. When you are old, I want you to recall those few hours, I want your dry bones to quiver with joy when you think of them.
~Gustave Flaubert, letter to wife Louise Colet, 15 August 1846
Wow! When I read the quote above, I realize that in addition to giving little attention to the “experience of strong love or sexual desire” part of my definition this week, I have light years to travel before I could ever make such a statement myself! I adore my husband but clearly there are reaches of passion we have not attained! As I consider such rapture I find it likely that you are in the same situation. My Daily life just doesn’t hold much room for this expression.
Are you “Wildly, recklessly, in love” or are you “Occasional bursts of passion” like me? Find out how your relationship rates on the Passionate Love Scale here designed by Elaine Hatfield, Phd., Psychology University of Hawai’i, who conducts research on the Neuropsychology of Passion. Additional Passion Scales are available on her web site… simple and interesting!
Dr. Adam Sheck over at the Passion 101 website would attribute my middle of the road passion rating to not integrating passionate rituals into our every day lives. We ritually brush our teeth, feed the dog, open the mail etc. etc. but more then likely we have forgotten to include romantic and passionate ones. I read somewhere once that if we just took thirty seconds longer with each hello and goodbye kiss it could transform a relationship. Thirty seconds! Why the heck haven’t I been taking that time for that? Are our lives that busy that I can’t spend thirty seconds more kissing the man I love? Ridiculous! I’m starting today! How about you? What ritual could you add to amp up the passion in your relationship?
Dr. Sheck offers, for free, what he calls a Special Report on “20 Rituals For Romance“ where he outlines 20 simple things that can be easily added to your routine and will enhance your relationship.
Here is a little sample:
Toast each other when you sit down to dinner. It doesn’t need to be with champagne or wine, even a glass of water or iced tea will do. Tell your partner something you love about him or her and then drink to it!
Set aside something each day for your partner. It might be a magazine article you read during your commute, a link to a website you came across, or even a story you heard at the office. They will appreciate that you took a moment to think of them during he course of your day.
Dress up for your partner! Let him or her see you at your best. It’s ironic that we dress up to meet total strangers but we let ourselves go around our nearest and dearest. We love to see our mate in attractive outfits, in well fitting clothes and perhaps with a hint of a favorite fragrance. Keeping up our appearance is simple but so important for our own self-esteem as well! (Get Dr. Sheck’s complete list of 20 Rituals Here)
I downloaded the complete list. They are all simple things to do that can make passion and romance a priority. I’m going to try a couple this week!
And about that thirty extra seconds on a kiss — I’m also going to make sure I make the time!
Photo from the eHow tutorial on How to Kiss Passionately