Respect is overrated, don’t expect to get it

Linda Adsetts and The Group are here with their weekly Go for the Joy message. Enjoy!

Respect by Jeanye Mercer


Respect is inherent in my being and yet it isn’t a word that passes over my lips. I prefer to offer up appreciation for someone-appreciation for their being.

The word respect, in our culture, has been overused in my humble opinion. Children have been taught to respect their elders, respect authority figures, respect their parents and I am sure that many of you could add to this list. As adults we are told to respect the process.

“Why” is a question that I feel in myself when I have heard the respect word. Why would I automatically respect someone because of their position of power?

I don’t ever feel that I am not respected though on reflection by the very definition of the word, I have been.

But I don’t feel like I have, if that makes any sense to you. My husband uses this word a lot in relationship to himself. He will feel disrespected on occasion.

But what he is really feeling is unappreciated for his being and respect is the word he grew up with and on some occasions feels that he deserves to be respected as man of the house and father and husband. All of that is very much a part of the generation that he is a part of.

That is not my automatic response to someone just because of a role that he plays. But, I will consider all the variables and offer up appreciation for him and gently let him know that just because I don’t agree with him with doesn’t mean I don’t like him.

Isn’t that what all of this is about anyway when people ask you to respect them? Aren’t they really asking, “Please like me and appreciate me even if what I am doing is not likeable or agreeable to you?”

When someone is asking to be respected, then I am almost positive that they are feeling like they don’t matter in your life. They want your good opinion of them.

Sometimes you just can’t offer that up.

When we were children we were told to respect our parents and our teachers, most especially when they were feeling that they had lost control of a situation.

RESPECT ME! Do as you are told! Don’t ask questions! Oooops, perhaps I am revealing my particular bias to this word.

I believe that if you appreciate someone then “respect” by very definition lies within
your relationship with them. But, if you ask someone to respect just because you hold a position of power over them is not respectful to anyone.

What if we focused on being appreciative of people regardless of their position in your life? What if we could find a way to all just get along without demanding respect as an easy way to get our own way?

So I will not automatically extend respect to anyone just because they hold a position of authority or power over me and I don’t expect anyone to respect me-ever. But, when they choose to be in appreciation of me just because I am another human being living on planet earth and offer me “respect”, then I will happily accept it and do my very best to find a mutual accommodation of their being with all of their perceived wants and needs. But, automatic “respect” will never be a part of it.

Linda may seem to have written in riddles to some of you and some of you will be nodding your head in recognition. Those that don’t demand respect will often receive it. Those that honor you will in response be honored by you.

Honor the beings that surround you and try to remember that like you they are merely doing the best with what they remember.

You do remember how we see you- you MAGNIFICENT BEINGS OF LIGHT AND LOVE? Respect is not a word that is part of our world. It is like telling you that you are human-you don’t need to be told because you know you are.

But if we told you that we love you and we are in deep gratitude for your wanting to play upon planet earth yet again in a time when great changes are upon you, then doesn’t that feel good? Don’t you just feel how much we love you?

Your planet is in the midst of great change, a change that has not ever happened before and because it hasn’t then so many on the planet are in fear and in their fear are demanding your respect as a way to control the uncontrollable. Governments, banks and all the ways in which you function as societies on your planet will have to change or fall and in the changing will fall apart until they come together in a new way. It can look chaotic to those that are fearful of change. It can look like the world, as you know it is ending and so it is.

But all endings, herald new beginnings and in the new beginnings are a myriad of new possibilities. You may want your young ones to respect that which is old and true but we tell you that your young ones are the ones who will offer up new solutions to old problems. They will refuse to respect for the sake of respect. They will be quick to appreciate that which is honoring of all. They will want the planet to be honored. They will want themselves to be honored. They may even honor you in all of your fears and what ifs, if you allow them to be who they be, if you give them the benefit of the doubt and listen to what they are trying to tell you.

Perhaps, they are not as articulate as you but if you take the time to really listen you will know what they are trying to have you hear. And if you do, then some part of you will remember what they have not forgotten. They know that they are magnificent beings of light and love and they will not be made to feel otherwise.
They will not be satisfied with “Because I told you to-listen to me I am your parent-your teacher-a policeman!”

Dear ones, that isn’t good enough anymore.

What is doable and what will work is when you invite them into a conversation full of possibilities where everyone feels heard and in that, everyone will feel respected. Perhaps now you can see why that world is not part of our world. It isn’t necessary to us and one day it will not be necessary for your world.

When that day comes, you will look back and wonder at the denseness of your societies and like slavery it will seem unthinkable. Truly it is because you weren’t “thinking” with your hearts and your beings.

And so dear ones, we offer this to you; respect is overrated. Don’t expect to get it and you just might find that you receive it.

Be who you be under all your fears and what ifs and you will be the contribution that is needed in your world to support all the changes that are unfolding and allow for others to be who they be, especially your children, for they dear ones are your future.

Go For The Joy
Linda and The Group


Linda Adsetts is a  healer, medium, psychic reader, channeller and writer. She receives channelled guidance and inspiration from The Group, a gathering of spirit who teach that our souls’ path is best expressed when we come from a place of joy. You can read how Linda got started down this fascinating path here and on her website where she shares daily messages from The Group.

Join her each Friday on Bliss Habits for an inspiring take on each of the habits.


4 thoughts on “Respect is overrated, don’t expect to get it

  1. ARNK says:

    I agree, people are mad! I understand, if someone built a successful company from the ground up, I gladly offer my respect for the accomplishment (not that my respect matters). If they’re gracious enough to hire me to work at said company, I am extremely grateful and appreciative.

    Now let’s say once I’m in the door it turns out it’s a miserable sweatshop and this CEO, turns out to be a sadist, fostering a hostile and unfair work environment where harassment is encouraged, not only have I lost all respect for them and everything they’ve created but I’m no longer grateful or appreciative.

    Now, being CEO, this person can further abuse their power and use their influence to interfere with new job opportunities. If you don’t respect people the right way, you’re done.

    So that’s why respect is a sham. Just because someone has worked at a job for 10 more years than you, they don’t own you. They don’t necessarily know more than you about life, they just have more experience on the job. They feel like they can disrespect people below them without consequence, and I reject this way of living.

    Society is a drag, I think I’ll drop it – if you can’t accept my respect the way I give it, you’re not worthy of my efforts.

    • I am surprised to know that almost three years later, you found this blog and my writing. I thank you for your thoughtful comments. I re-read the article and truly it seems even more pertinent today than it was then. Times are a changing and with change is the opportunity for everyone to step into something new and throw away the old ties that keep “us” in boxes that don’t serve us any longer. Hang in there and thank you for being you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *