Ten Things I’ve Learned at Bliss Habits

For the past year, one of my greatest delights has been having Chel be a part of things here at Bliss Habits. I love how her beautiful posts show up, without my having to do anything and that she always has the perfect “other side” to my thoughts of the week. I can not tell you how often I was struggling with something about a habit or my project as a whole when Chel’s perfect post would show up. I really couldn’t wish for a better compatriot in the land of Bliss.

Chel, does not know this yet, (psst you can be a part of the surprise now!) but as a thank you for being more then I could ever wish for in a sidekick I’ve picked her up a little gift. To see what it is and to win one for yourself you’ll need to scroll down to the end of this post. But before you do that, Let’s hear what Chel has to say today:

Welcome to Tuesdays with Chel.

Each week Chel Micheline of gingerblue dot com will offer her perspectives on our Bliss Habits. Please enjoy the wisdom and clarity she offers.

photo by A.E.

“Experience enlarges you by weaving itself into the fabric of your identity; 
you are the sum of all you have experienced.”
-Martha Beck

Ten things I’ve learned from writing at Bliss Habits (in no particular order)…

Humility, while being the hardest thing to write about, is probably the most important part of well-being. And by humility, I mean this: the sooner we get honest about who we really are (the bad *and* the good) and the sooner we start to honor those truths about who we are every single day, the sooner we figure out how to make the world work for us.

– The process of discovery is more important than the result. The questions are much more important than the answers. The key it to allow SPACE and TIME for the questions to evolve. It seems that humans are SO focused on the answers, the end, the results, the destination. The truth is that most of the goodness and wisdom and creativity in the world is in the *path* to that end point.

– You can be a total control freak and still leave room in your life for surprise. For me, it’s having a huge selection of teas to choose from every day, ordering art supplies by mail and then *not* watching the tracking information, and not planning my days too far in advance. I still feel super comfortable with all these things, but there’s a lot of room for pleasant surprises in my daily rituals.

– There are some communities, situations, groups, etc that no matter how much time we spend in them, will NEVER be a right fit for us. Period. I spent years and years wondering why on earth high school was so difficult for me, even a little bit traumatic. It was only this past year that I finally realized because it was absolutely not the right fit for me, and I couldn’t have thrived there unless I was a completely different person. It’s just like in gardening- there are some plants that just will NOT thrive in certain areas of the world. You could get the healthiest plant specimen, the best seeds, the best soil, tons of light and water and love, and that plant is just not going to flourish. In life, we have to recognize what our “ideal conditions” are and make a point to seek those out. And also to forgive ourselves for not growing in certain places during our lives

– Intention isn’t so much about setting goals and following through, it’s about tapping into your own personal sense of intuition and then allowing that intuition (which is your personal GPS system) an opportunity to respond to you. You don’t always have to take the advice it gives, but listening to what it has to say is almost always helpful.

– Beauty is often found in the very familiar.

– Gratitude can usually be found quietly tagging along in the shadows of other, BIGGER emotions. I always thought I was just immune to feeling gratitude until I realized that, for me, it was softer and often was found in the emotions connected with joy, happiness, relief, awe, etc.

– Meditation and mindfulness isn’t about clearing your mind of all thought and feeling and KEEPING it that way, it’s about refocusing, over and over, on just being and feeling EXACTLY you at each moment. If you are crabby, be crabby. If you are tired, be tired. Don’t embellish it, don’t imagine what might happen as a result of how you feel, just discover the truth in it and gently return to that, as often as you need to. What I mean is, instead of telling yourself: “I feel tired, so that means my swim will be hard and then I’ll be dragging all day and I won’t et any work done and then the rest of my week is ruined…”, try “I’m tired. My neck is hurting. My head feels heavy. I’m tired. The air in here is cool. It’s good to close my eyes and rest for a minute. I’m comfortable. I hear some people talking. I’m tired.”

– It’s perfectly okay to build yourself a little box of “what’s okay” and stay INSIDE that box. Life can still be awesome and exciting even if you don’t venture out of that “box” all that often. I know this flies in the face of expert advice that urges all of us to “step out of our boxes” and into the unknown as often as possible. But for those of us who had earlier lives filled with “the unknown” and no “box” to return to when life got too much, we’ve *earned* our little boxes of comfort and boundaries. We painstakingly built those “boxes” from materials that came as a result of difficult personal experiences. The “outside the box” advice is for those who have spent their whole life in a box, not for those of us who never had the luxury of a “box” to begin with

– If you have a kid (or know a kid), spend some time observing them. You will learn a tremendous amount about whimsy, creativity, and just being OKAY.

 

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Thank you for that Chel. I am so happy that you have found value in your participation here! Also, thank you for sharing these marvelous lessons!

Now on to your gift. Symbolic of all the wishes you have answered for me and for the delight you bring, I want you to have one of these lovely “Make a Wish” necklaces for your very own.  Thank you Chel! xoxox Kathy

Make A Wish Dandelion Seed Hollow Lampwork Bead by KarmaBeads

 

These beads are fascinating.

A crystal clear, hollow glass bead, painstakenly filled with the tiniest dandelion fly-away seeds, carefully sealed with antique brass bead caps, and securely wirewrapped and attaached to a 20 inch very dark colored vintage looking chain, Finished off with a lobsterclaw clasp. 35.00 Value (Blog post entry)

 

How to win one of these marvelous necklaces for yourself!

1. Leave a comment about how you enjoyed this or any of Chel’s posts here at Bliss Habits

Bonus Entries:

2. In a separate comment tell us why you’d like to win the gorgeous necklace.

3. Stop by Chel’s Blog, Gingerblue and leave a comment  on a post you like there. Let me know in a comment here that you did so.

4. Tweet the following:

I just entered to win @KarmaNamaste  ‘s gorgeous necklace in the @BlissHabits Blogversary #apolooza   http://bit.ly/JsDffe

Do all four and you have four chances to win!

Winner will be selected at random from all entries received by Thursday, May 31, 2012. We have a winner! Congratulations Melissa H.!!

Check out the complete Blogversary-apolooza giveaway list and learn how you can double your chances!!

Good Luck!!

39 thoughts on “Ten Things I’ve Learned at Bliss Habits

  1. What a beautiful post!! I got goosebumps reading it! I’m curious what you do though for things where communities aren’t a fit … like high school, it’s not like you can drop out, the repercussions would be worse than sticking it out long term…. I think it’s on a lot of folks’ minds (it gets better). Thoughts?

    • I don’t recommend dropping out at all. I guess what I am saying is that if known then that no matter what I did, that the particular community of my high school would *never* work for me, I could have spent those four years just being true to myself, building up integrity, finding things I felt passionate about, spending time doing things I really enjoyed, etc. instead of spending so much time TRYING to make it work, trying to fit myself into a hole that I was not designed to fit in, analyzing myself over and over in the hopes of discovering what was wrong with me. Maybe it would have been a relief. Sometimes we are stuck in places we can’t escape, but instead of trying to work the system and change ourselves to fit that system, we might be better served tending to our selves and keeping our inner spark burning until it once again has the chance to ignite. <3

  2. Karen B says:

    Oh Kathy this is lovely – the post and the dandelion seed bead. I love Chel’s posts – I read them every Tuesday and much of the growth I have experienced over the last few months has been achieved through working through some of her questions. I continue to look forward to Tuesdays with Chel! x

  3. Karen B says:

    I would love to win this bead. It reminds me of the fleetingness of things and that bad things too, will fly away in the wind! Also, the glodfinches in my garden love to eat the dandelion seeds – so it would bring to mind my connection to other aspects of nature. Love and hugs on your blogaversary, Karen x

  4. I love that! Kids really do hold the key to happiness and if we learn it from them, we can’t go wrong. I posted a video last night via Cody McKibben (Digital Nomad Academy) and it was of the kids in an orphanage overseas and the kids were sooo happy – despite their living situation and the losses. Even the unlucky kids know bliss. Why can’t we all learn from them?

  5. Karen B says:

    Stopped by Chel’s site – and she’s put up a great post as always – how does she always seem to know what it is I need to hear?!!

  6. It’s amazing what we can learn when we stretch out of our comfort zone!

    This bead reminds me of my grandfather because as kids we called the dandelion heads ‘nonnos’ which means grandfather in Italian. The idea was to make a wish and blow. My grandpa is now 90 and I still wish on nonnos 🙂

  7. How precious and delightful is that necklace – to capture something so fleeting and fragile, it feels like a piece of magic dust to me. Like Sandi, I still wish on dandelion heads too. We used to blow them to tell the time, it probably accounts for why I used to be late so often, they weren’t very accurate and I’d be lost in the moment 😉

  8. I really enjoyed this summing up – an awesome list and the reminder that there are places where we just don’t fit is wonderful – to accept that and not to try to change ourselves to fit in everywhere is wonderful.

  9. A gorgeous piece of jewellery, so unusual and that in itself is one reason I’d love to win it. Then to add to that to capture something of a childhood innocence and undiluted joy and hold it close to my heart – how wonderful.

  10. Alex says:

    Thank you for sharing, especially the idea that there are some places/spaces/situations where we will never thrive. I have beat myself up over the failing of my marriage, but recently realized that neither of us was in a position to make our marriage work. It could have been great – if we were the people we are NOW, 10 years ago. But now I can be free to create something truly great with a new person, and understand a relationship in which I can truly thrive!

  11. Alex says:

    This necklace is gorgeous. I love the simple beauty of dandelions and the fact that these simple flowers – weeds to most – create these seeds that represent hope and joy for so many, children and adults alike!

  12. I love all of Chel’s posts!!

    I totally love this one, Chel. I’ve been trying to let go of some angst over a particular job for a long time (you know the one! 😉 ), and when I read “And also to forgive ourselves for not growing in certain places during our lives,” I thought, “Like that job. I forgive myself for not doing well there, especially at the end..” and then started the next paragraph, then stopped and re-read that sentence, and re-thought my forgiveness thought, and had a total epiphany breakthrough moment. It’s true that that IS so important to do, and I’m amazed that I finally feel like I have actually forgiven myself for that. Wow! (And then I shed a few tears, because that’s the way I roll 😉 ).

    I think all of these points are amazing, and I absolutely love your writing and insight, Chel! I always enjoy your writing. 🙂

  13. I would like to own that gorgeous necklace for many reasons. I think dandelions are their own kind of magic. I have always thought of them as flowers. I always blew the seeds and made wishes. It reminds me of a poem I loved in 8th grade about being a weed… Oh hey I found it! http://www.dellwyn.com/thoughts/identity.html

    Also, dandelions remind me of my friend, Sybil, who believed in the beauty and magic of the universe and wrote one time about seeing a field of dandelions. She called them scruffy painters in overalls and paint marks on their pants… I love that mental imagery. She lost her battle to cancer many years ago when she was only 31, and that’s the age I am now. When I think of dandelions, or see them, I always smile and think of her.

  14. I commented on Chel’s latest post about anxiety. So awesome! As I said there, I’m going to have to try that out, just a shift in perspective/approach. I like the sound of that.

  15. Chel, I love this, particularly the bit about the box. Oh and the bit about plants and fitting in…. Ok, maybe I loved all of it!

    The box thing though – SO true. And it’s a lot less petrifiying to gently expand our boxes than throw ourselves out of their confines. We have boundaries for a reason.

    Much love.

  16. Chel is an angel, I do believe! I came to know her through blogging and here at Bliss… her insights and wisdom always give me pause of thought and help me find more ways to grow. I love what she said about “You can be a total control freak and still leave room in your life for surprise,” that sounds like me too! Thank you Chel! And thanks, to you, Kathy for making this place possible! :o)

  17. Terri S Crum says:

    Love this post….opened my mind to thinking in different ways….just from reading this…thanks!

    tlcrum06 @ att dot net

  18. Terri S Crum says:

    I would really love to win this necklace….I have always loved to blow the dandelion pods & make wishes on them…this necklace is so unique! I’m in love with it!!

    tlcrum06 @ att dot net

  19. Noelle says:

    To me dandelion seeds are all about making wishes and sending them afloat in the world to make magic…
    Thanks for this lovely giveaway!

  20. This is really a lovely necklace. I adore anything nature-inspired. And this was such a wonderful way to capture nature in its true beauty. Thank you for the opportunity. 🙂

  21. I really enjoy Chel’s posts. They are always thought-provoking and insightful. I really love the list of what she has learned here through her journey at Bliss Habits. I have been here nearly since the beginning and am proud to have taken part in it and also learning from you and the wonderful guest posters. Bravo to you and to Chel!

  22. Melissa H. says:

    There are very good points in this post, points that we might already know but still need to be reminded. Especially, the part about how we don’t necessarily thrive in all settings/situations…we have to surround ourselves with the environment that allows us to thrive, and let go of what doesn’t help us thrive. Thanks!

  23. Melissa H. says:

    I’d love to win the dandelion seed necklace….I used to make a wish and blow away the dandelion seeds when I was a kid…I would wear the necklace it to remind me that wishes can come true. 🙂

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