Why Do We Stop Asking Why?

I couldn’t be more thrilled. We are so lucky to have Amy Grams of Nutrition Accomplished here with us today to talk to us about an inquiry. I’ve always focused my inquiries in an outward direction. Today she makes the case for looking inward, and it is definitely a message I needed to hear!

As the mother of any small child knows, children are curious creatures who notice the minutia of life that we grownups are often just too darn busy to see. From the crack on the sidewalk to the appearance of a freckle, children see the world through their own built-in electron microscope.

I often wish I could hear my son’s thoughts as he processes all this new information. Because knowing his thoughts might help me anticipate the incessant and sometimes annoying questions that subsequently pop out of his mouth as he takes in the world around him.

“Why are the seeds on this strawberry black and that strawberry white?”

“Why do I get bumps on my arms when I’m cold?”

“Why does Alex’s mom let him play this video game but you won’t let me?”

Why indeed?

At some point, many of us grownups reach a point where asking questions seems pointless. If you can’t influence the answer, why bother to ask the question?

One of the many cool things about having children is that they remind us how incredibly powerful human beings can be, when we set our minds to it.

All change and ingenuity begin with two things: a question and the belief that it can, and should, be answered.

Virtually every aspect of our lives could be enhanced by viewing it through the curious eyes of a child, rather than the tired and judgmental eyes of a world-weary grownup.

As a nutrition coach, I help my clients look at their health and body with curiosity to decipher the messages they receive every day from their bodies. They are often surprised to realize that those messages mimic others received over and over again, in various forms, from other parts of their life.

This is something I learned the hard way.

After fifteen stressful and grueling years working in corporate America, I finally was unable to ignore the messages my body was sending me: chronic heartburn, insomnia, indigestion and, finally, a case of the flu that lasted a full six months.

At first, I just chalked these things up to bad genetics. This is just the way my body is, right? Nothing I can do about it.

Although my gut had been telling me that I was unhappy with my work and my lifestyle for many years, I had buried those messages in more work, wine and coffee almond fudge ice cream.

My record-setting flu bug forced me to accept that something was not working in my life.
I finally asked myself a really tough question, “Why am I working my butt off, sacrificing my health, time with my son, family and friends, to make a Fortune 500 company that much more profitable?”

Why indeed?

That was six years ago and today my life bears little resemblance to my life back then. I have found a new career and passion, healed my body and my soul, made wonderful new friends and opened myself up to a journey of exploration that is still many exciting miles from its final destination.

All because of one little question.

Health, relationships, career and spirituality are all hopelessly intertwined. By asking questions about why you’re eating the foods you’re eating, why you’re staying up late every night or why you aren’t managing stress, you can’t help but impact the others.

That’s one of the many things I love about nutrition. What we eat and how we treat our bodies are wonderful metaphors for many other aspects of life: money, intimacy and your life’s purpose (to name just a few!).

Just for fun, try a little exercise with me. For one week, keep track of what you eat, who you ate it with and how you felt (physically, emotionally and/or spiritually) both before and after you ate. Then get really curious about why.

Why did I get an upset stomach after lunch on Wednesday?

Why did I eat an entire bag of chips while watching Survivor?

Why was I so energized after breakfast this morning, but so tired after breakfast yesterday?

Why didn’t I have an appetite at dinner on Sunday?

As best you can let the questions, and their answers, flow naturally. Often an insight about what’s not working in our lives (or what is!) is right under our noses. When we ask our bodies for insight, they are more than happy to give us their opinions.

After immersing myself in the study of nutrition and natural healing for the last six years, there’s one thing I know for sure. When we stop asking why, when we ignore our bodies and the messages they are sending, the messages only get louder.

Stop asking why and one day, that message will take the form of a brick falling on top of your head. If you instead ask why, and take the answer seriously, you just may be able to catch that brick and use it to build something really cool!

Do you pay attention to the messages your body sends you? Have you had an “aha” about your life during an illness or health crisis? Share your story and join the discussion!


Amy is a Nutrition Educator and Coach. She helps women over 40 who want to double their energy, lose 20 lbs. and sail through menopause without misery. She’s also a busy mom, avid reader and loyal owner of an English Mastiff named Allie, who outweighs her by a good 10 lbs. Amy received her nutrition training and certifications at Bauman College and also has a B.S. in Business Administration from the University of California, Berkeley.




Amy, I can not tell you how timely your message is for me! I have been blessed with very good health but have begun to notice that taking everything for granted is NOT a health strategy! DUH?!! Right?!! But what you have outlined hear is doable. I can pay attention and I can certainly get curious about my diet. Count me in on your challenge!! I’ll let you know what I discover!

Thank you also for wanting to be a part of the Blogversary-apolooza. Your post is certain to make a big difference for a lot of people! 

2 thoughts on “Why Do We Stop Asking Why?

  1. Interesting points. Just the other day another mother and I were talking about our growing children and saying how one of the signs of them growing is when they come to realise that not only are there some questions we as their parents cannot answer, but that some questions do not have an answer at all. Maybe however we need to rethink that and go back to asking more questions ourselves. I am certain that questioning my own dietary habits would lead to some questions that would make me uncomfortable…not a bad thing.

    • Carolyn, I’m 43 and I still want my mom to have the answers (I’m not sure at what age I realized she didn’t have them all though)! I agree that asking the questions can make you uncomfortable. The cool thing is…the more you do it, the more you get used to that uncomfortable feeling. I love David Neagle and he always says, “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Great advice I think.

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